I was thirty eight or thirty nine years old and my youngest son was under three. This loving and happy youngster constantly had ear infections and was on antibiotics so often that his Ear, Nose and Throat specialist decided that it would be the best action to put him on antibiotics prophylactically for the complete winter season. This was to ensure that he would avoid getting the otitis and associated pain. Zac was my first child to actually have cow's milk as a staple because I caved to pressure from my mother-in-law, the doctors, the experts. I knew in my heart that pasteurized, homogenized cow’s milk was not a health food, as I never tolerated it myself as a child… but I caved. I doubted myself and my gut feelings. Susan the unconscious drone took over.
The following year the specialist found a tumour in his ear which had to be surgically removed to ensure that he would not lose his hearing. All of this was a shock to me, it sat in my being that my child was ill and was a victim of disease and circumstances. I had difficulty digesting this as children are supposed to be healthy.
Fast forward a few years, when I, as a good and loving mother, take him to the best paediatric dentist for a *routine* checkup. This dentist informs me that his teeth were not growing in properly and his jaw would have to be broken surgically and put back together again to *guarantee* that his teeth would grow in straight. I was horrified.
That was it! No one is going to break Zac’s jaw. No one is going to harm my baby. There has to be another way. To put this in perspective, this was the time before the internet existed, when research still had to be done at the library and finding alternative, reliable practitioners of any sort had to be accomplished by asking everyone you knew and praying that someone knew someone who knew of someone.
How do you find someone with an alternative mindset when everyone you know and your geographical community has the same way of viewing the world, everyone and everything around you is the same old, same old?
To reiterate, I was horrified that this was happening to Zac and I was unable to wave my magic wand and make it all better. I was horrified that this was the approach of “modern” medicine. This was beyond archaic, it was just plain stupid. It did not make sense to me, how could the Universe or Mother Nature or G-d or the Creator have gotten it so wrong? (Little did I know back then that I hadn’t nursed him long enough in order to form his jaw properly.) There was no way that this could be the only solution, the best solution. I was determined that I would find a gentle approach to help my son. And against all odds, I succeeded. Needless to say, I never took any of my children back to that highly recommended torturer, A.K.A., the dentist.
This then, is the genesis of my evolution. My determination to help my son woke me up out of my unconscious, sleeping zombie state. It was important and vital that Zac, and all of my children were not only disease and illness free, but that they thrived and blossomed, each in their special ways.
I not only wanted to, but I needed to find a way for my son to heal and to become whole and to have not only the ability but every chance to live in his perfection. I wanted to inform myself, to learn about health and to know how to be the best Doctor Mom possible. Should I go back to school, to medical school? To what end? I would have learned the same information in the same way with the same indoctrination that the medical professionals that I had previously consulted with, had parroted to me. Would I be any further ahead of where I currently was? Each time I thought of attending medical school, my stomach contracted and I felt ill all the way to my core.
I looked into naturopathic schools, but there was nothing available in my area and I was not willing to leave my family for three or four years. How was leaving (in my mind it was abandoning) my children for an extended period of time making me into the best mom I could be?
My internal suffering came from being undereducated in health, in plant medicine, in the true healing arts, into the alchemy of life. How was I to help myself so that I could help my family? I had to find a way through this murkiness. I needed to know how to help myself and how to administer to my loved ones. What was I going to do when I or my family was injured or sick, other than running to a doctor and giving my power away to them? How to not be diminished in any way, shape or form with dealing with the establishment, with authority, with doctors? I was never again going to allow myself to be behind the eight ball. I was going to rely on myself and not be intimidated by the supposed experts, but how was I going to find the strength and internal resolve to stand up and ask the right questions and expect answers. Answers that were not dismissive, but answers that lead to new understandings, new knowledge and new insights? Answers that helped me and my thought patterns evolve rather than devolve and stagnate?
I made a promise to myself that I would not be lazy about research and learning. I knew that I had to change my mindset that the education system, as it was set out, was not the only way to acquire knowledge, to learn new ways of being and to be informed about life.
But first I had to get over the fear that I was too old to retrain my mind and change my understandings, the fear that my brain would not be up to snuff and the fear that I just wasn’t smart enough.
These fears and thoughts catalyzed me to study diverse forms of healing arts, from Jin Shin Do to Heilkunst and Homeopathy to the Mind Detox Method. In between these courses and since their completion, I have widened my horizons with David Wolfe, with Lars Rain Gustafsson and the BodyMind Institute, Dr. Roy Dittman and Dr. Terry Willard to name a few of the stellar resources available to all of us now.
Whatever you put in your body and mind, on your body, in your environment, will either bestow health and healing or cause harm and illness. There is no neutral. Allow me to challenge you to be the best that you can imagine, and then some.
I'm would be thrilled to hear from you. Please let me know how I can help support your journey.